The Monastic Life

Aug 29, 2011 by cara moulds

I stand in the doorway of two worlds, foot poised on the threshold of immersion in a community after two months of solitude and stillness.  I have loved the solitude.  I have longed for it to never end. I think frequently, that I would like to stay like this permanently, reveling in the expanse of my imagination wide-opened and untethered.

But maybe that is just a reaction after too many years of too much community as an administrator of a high school with 1300 students (and 1300 families), 100 staff members and a calendar full of events.  We are all vibrational energy, and I am beginning to see how days turned into years of my vibrational energy blending with so many others that there was little left at the end of a day for me.

I think during these past two months that I have come back into the fullness of myself.

One of the great blessings of solitude and silence is that they offer time for us to become who we really are…. The constant need to meet the expectations of others draws writers away from their true selves and deafens us to our authentic voices.  You can’t remember who you are when half the world is vying for your attention: you need solitude for that.  – Writing as a Sacred Path, Jill Jepson

Now I am trying to guard it. It is serendipitous that I should be reading the chapter on “The Monastic Path” on the eve of my return to community, though on a smaller scale.  This time I have chosen a path of balance, I hope.  One that allows my immersion into community on my own terms.  One that allows me to reap the benefits of community without letting it suck me dry.

Moderation and balance make all the difference.  For it is true that the community is ripe with stories, characters, plots, dilemmas, events and circumstances from which to learn and create.   It is fun to forage around in the pantry of other people’s lives to enrich our own.

Writers may find their voices in solitude, but their work grows out of the busy, crowded life of family, workplace, and community.  Being with others is the complementary piece of the puzzle…. Solitude may give us the freedom to write, but what we write about comes from other people.  – Writing as a Sacred Path, Jill Jepson

While in the hospital last week, I caught the beginning of Cast Away on TV and watched it until Tom Hanks was stranded on a deserted island.  I was thinking it really wouldn’t be so bad to be alone like that.  But really, it would.  After the expansion of soul and metaphysical knowledge gleaned from that solitude, what would you do?  Who would you share it with?  I am reminded of Into the Wild, when after all that time alone in contemplation, the conclusion Christopher McCandless reaches on his deathbed is that we are meant to share our experiences with others.

Therefore, in mindful awareness, I cross the threshold from solitude to community, pledging to myself to honor both with balance and to use both to fuel my creative passions and personal growth.